A Broken Heart?

Have you ever felt deceived? Well, I am guessing many times maybe. What about a deception that could actually ruin your hope. When you felt that what you have really hoped for has finally come, and you couldn’t believe that it’s actually happening! But then, after one day you found out that it’s not what you actually hoped for. Doesn’t it really hurt, especially when you had placed all your hopes in it (maybe even prayers)?

Well, that’s what happened to me. I felt so heartbroken, so lost, and so depressed and down to the lowest (again). I wanted to cry so hard and just fall on my knees and call to God, but something was telling me “be strong, don’t cry, it’s ok, just trust God”, but I didn’t know what to do, whether to cry and be devastated or whether to not worry and just trust God.

I was actually holding it in. It was about my wish. A lot of thoughts that came into my mind made me so afraid of losing my wish, being rejected, and just end up letting go and give up. I wrote in my devotional notebook what I felt. I wrote a written prayer to God. I wanted to cry so bad and just talk to God alone. I was totally lost. I was in deep sadness and depression. Just imagining it right now is just too much, too scary.

I almost lost my hope, all my hope. When I came home from school, I lay down on my bed to rest. Thoughts went into my mind and made me feel the fear, the confusion, and all negative things. I knelt on my bed, bowed my head and prayed with all my tears, in hurt and in desperation to God. I have never felt this lost, this hopeless, in all my life.

Despite all that, God had never forsaken me. He reminded me about how the devil wants to break us. The devil is the king of all lies and deception. He wants us to lose all hope, be broken and shattered to pieces. He wants us to lose track from the love of God. That’s the situation I had. I almost lost hope. but then I realized all the things my friends told me. it was really encouraging. I read the Bible. I really tried my best to regain the hope that I lost. All those words said by my friends, the words of the bible, and prayers really helped me. I had to admit that when I first read some of the verses, I felt nothing. But with all my effort, FAITH and praying, God lifted me up again.

That time when I was in depression, the encouraging words I received and read were, as I believe, God’s words for my broken heart. It was God who was trying to tell me and bring me out of that sadness, our of darkness. Those were His answer to my calls of desperation. Right now, I am happy that I realized it. It makes my feel so happy and blessed to know that God is really always here for me (and for everyone).

It takes an open heart and mind for God to be able to hear and feel the wonderful words He wants to share to us, especially when we are heartbroken.

I will tell you the encouraging words and verses that lifted me up during that time on my next post =]. God Bless you!